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Molti anni fa, ai tempi in cui un debitore insolvente poteva essere gettato in prigione, un mercante di Londra si trovò, per sua sfortuna, ad avere un grosso debito con un usuraio.
L’usuraio, che era vecchio e brutto, si invaghì della bella e giovanissima figlia del mercante, e propose un affare.
Disse che avrebbe condonato il debito se avesse avuto in cambio la ragazza.
Il mercante e sua figlia rimasero inorriditi dalla proposta. Perciò l’astuto usuraio propose di lasciar decidere alla Provvidenza.
Disse che avrebbe messo in una borsa vuota due sassolini, uno bianco e uno nero, e che poi la fanciulla avrebbe dovuto estrarne uno. Se fosse uscito il sassolino nero, sarebbe diventata sua moglie e il debito di suo padre sarebbe stato condonato. Se la fanciulla invece avesse estratto quello bianco, sarebbe rimasta con suo padre e anche in tal caso il debito sarebbe stato rimesso.
Ma se si fosse rifiutata di procedere all’estrazione, suo padre sarebbe stato gettato in prigione e lei sarebbe morta di stenti.
Il mercante, benché con riluttanza, finì con l’acconsentire. In quel momento si trovavano su un vialetto di ghiaia del giardino del mercante e l’usuraio si chinò a raccogliere i due sassolini. Mentre egli li sceglieva, gli occhi della fanciulla, resi ancor più acuti dal terrore, notarono che egli prendeva e metteva nella borsa due sassolini neri. Poi l’ usuraio invitò la fanciulla a estrarre il sassolino che doveva decidere la sua sorte e quella di suo padre.
Che fare?
- Rifiutarsi di estrarre il sassolino
- mostrare che la borsa contiene due sassolini neri e smascherare l’usuraio imbroglione
- estratte uno dei sassolini neri e sacrificarsi per salvare il padre dalla prigione.
SONO QUESTE LE SOLUZIONI POSSIBILI? ALL’APPARENZA SI
La storia continua narrando che la ragazza introdusse la mano nella borsa ed estrasse un sassolino, ma senza neppure guardarlo se lo lasciò sfuggire di mano facendolo cadere sugli altri sassolini dei vialetto, fra i quali si confuse.
“Oh, che sbadata! ¬ esclamò ¬ ma non vi preoccupate: se guardate nella borsa potrete immediatamente dedurre, dal colore del sassolino rimasto, il colore dell’altro”.
Questo racconto è tratto da” Il pensiero laterale”, il famoso libro di Edward De Bono.
Il Pensiero laterale è, secondo De Bono, l’opposto del pensiero verticale quello che noi definiremmo razionalità.
Ho stilato un decalogo per il comunicatore ideale.
Al primo punto ho scritto INNOVATORE.
Infatti, per un oratore, il più grave difetto è la ripetitività. Inoltre, chi parla a un pubblico deve essere abilissimo in ciò che io definisco “la gestione della crisi”.
Ogni volta è diverso, cambiano i luoghi fisici, cambiano le persone, cambiano gli input da parte della platea. Va prestata grande attenzione anche all’uso dei mezzi tecnici
( videoproiettori, slide, filmati) che sono fantastici strumenti tecnologici ma possono abbandonarci per un guasto in qualunque momento.
Cosa dovrà fare in quel caso l’oratore? Ovviamente saper andare avanti.
Ma veniamo al nostro decalogo. Chi parla a un pubblico dovrà essere:
- Innovatore
Idee, idee, idee. Non bisogna essere dei geni, basta rubarle. L’archivio è la miglior fonte di ispirazione di un oratore. Dovrà essere pieno di ritagli, di pagine strappate da riviste e quotidiani, di appunti suddivisi per ogni argomento. Il tutto, naturalmente, riordinato in modo originale.
- Competente
La formazione permanente è, in questi anni, non solo necessaria ma indispensabile, il mondo va velocissimo, è necessario migliorare continuamente le nostre competenze.
- Esperto
Migliorare le competenze non significa dimenticare il passato. Il nostro bagaglio di esperienze dovrà essere il punto da cui partire per migliorare il nostro lavoro senza ripetere errori già fatti.
- Propositivo
Tenersi aggiornati è fondamentale per chiunque voglia incantare una platea.
La funzione dell’ascolto viene sicuramente prima di quella della parola. Se ci porremo in una dimensione di ascolto potremo allargare a dismisura i nostri elementi di giudizio. Purtroppo l’egocentrismo che contraddistingue ognuno di noi non ci permette di prestare la dovuta attenzione.
- Entusiasta
Scegliere gli obiettivi, trovare le idee, crederci, essere creativi, agire di conseguenza, avere fiducia in se stessi, questo è l’atteggiamento vincente. E’ importante imparare a comunicare in modo da ottenere l’effetto desiderato. L’unico risultato della comunicazione ¬ dice la PNL ¬ è l’atteggiamento altrui.
- Trasparente
La trasparenza è una richiesta che, in questi anni, viene dalla società civile. Per troppo tempo si sono usate le scorciatoie, i trucchi, i mezzucci. A volte l’oratore ricerca più l’efficacia che la verità, più il consenso che le critiche. Non si tratta di cercare consenso ma aperture, prospettive, dialogo. Essere trasparenti significa anche accogliere le idee altrui senza preconcetti.
- Determinato
Un grande maestro della comunicazione diceva: ” Ho visto persone di successo piene di difetti. Alcuni erano bari, ladri, impostori ed altro ancora. Non ne ho mai visto uno che fosse ancora a letto alle sette della mattina”. La determinazione è credere nel proprio successo, puntare decisi all’obiettivo, certi di farcela senza risparmiare energie. Qualcuno mi chiede, “quanto tempo ci metto a diventare un grande oratore? La risposta è sempre la stessa: Se ti alleni tutti i giorni ci metterai poco”.
- Curioso
La curiosità non è un difetto, anzi. Senza la curiosità non esisterebbero inventori, scienziati, ricercatori. Le soluzioni vengono trovate attraverso la curiosità che è sempre accoppiata a concetti come fantasia, immaginazione, creatività. Mantenete vivo il vostro complesso di Peter Pan, siate eterni bambini a caccia di informazioni per crescere.
Quindi, non solo google e wikipedia ma anche dibattiti, convegni, corsi, e ancora cinema, teatro, programmi televisivi e tanti, tanti libri.
- Paziente
La pazienza non è una dote, ma un atteggiamento, un modo di vivere. Non ci deriva dalla nascita, non è nel DNA, ma va coltivata giorno per giorno. In un epoca in cui il tempo corre veloce facciamo fatica a comprendere che la fretta è nemica della qualità. Un mio collega cita sempre un antico proverbio piemontese “fai in fretta, ma vai piano”. La pazienza è la dote fondamentale per le relazioni interpersonali. Rispettate i tempi altrui.
- Tenace
La mancanza di costanza è un errore frequente, spesso quelli che giungono al successo non sono i migliori, ma sono quelli che ci hanno veramente creduto. Chi è veramente tenace può riuscire in tutto anche in quello che la gente normalmente chiama “miracoli”!.
La tenacia significa anche buona capacità organizzativa, mente aperta, intelligenza, originalità, cultura, dedizione e, quindi faticate, gente, faticate.
Queste sono le caratteristiche del buon comunicatore , ma la caratteristica principale è quella contenuta nella storia che vi ho appena raccontato. Il buon comunicatore dovrà saper sviluppare il pensiero laterale per poter costantemente trovare soluzioni innovative. La qualità non può essere un obiettivo. La qualità è un dato di fatto da cui partire. Un dato imprescindibile.
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