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Assolutamente Si

Ma cosa gli è preso a tutti, sono rinscemiti?

Ogni intervistato, sia egli viceministro agli affari ingarbugliati, che esperto di deburocratizzazione rampante, ormai rispondono alle domande dirette con un rassicurante… assolutamente sì.

Salvo poi aggiungere tutti quegli argomenti olofrastici che ne sminuiscono la sicurezza, a prescindere dai quali, certo.

Poi, ai giornalisti e alle starlette, si sono aggiunti gli interpreti illetterati dei reality show e i mentitori professionali che affollano i salotti serali dei talk show.

Ieri pomeriggi chiedevo telefonicamente ad un collega se ritenesse utile incontrarci di persona… assolutamente sì, la pronta risposta, a prescindere dal fatto che fosse molto occupato, quindi quasi no.

Già Dante realizzava che l’Italiano di allora fosse la lingua del sì. Sì lo farò, sì vengo domani, sì certo ci mancherebbe… sì, yes, da, certamente e ora… assolutamente sì.

Abbiamo sentito dire sì, tante volte a vanvera, che ora non basta più o almeno non basta più da solo.

Basta ascoltare un po’ Simona Ventura e i suoi emuli.

– Mi passi il sale? – Assolutamente sì – Passalo e stai zitto! –

– Sai che ora è? – Assolutamente sì – Chi se ne frega se lo sai assolutamente sì, dimmi l’ora, assolutamente cretino!

Può darsi che sia arrivato dalle traduzioni letterali dei colloqui americani, dove l’originale absolutely viene spesso usato, senza yes però.

Del resto i traduttori dei film non sono mai stati in USA e non sanno che i pepperoni sulla pizza non sono le note verdure, ma salciccia piccante.

Che i tempi, così insicuri, abbiano contribuito a formare un vago senso di inadeguatezza alla semplice e breve affermazione Sì?

E’ già tranchant, SI vuol dire sì, non forse o quasi e magari.

NO vuol dire no, stop.

Personalmente mi rifiuterò, radicalmente, di ascoltare chicchessia usi a sproposito tale allocuzione.

Assolutamente sì, lo giuro.


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