40 regole per parlare bene l’italiano
- Evita le allitterazioni, anche se allettano gli allocchi.
- Non è che il congiuntivo va evitato, anzi, che lo si usa quando necessario.
- Evita le frasi fatte: è minestra riscaldata.
- Esprimiti siccome ti nutri.
- Non usare sigle commerciali & abbreviazioni etc.
- Ricorda (sempre) che la parentesi (anche quando pare indispensabile) interrompe il filo del discorso.
- Stai attento a non fare… indigestione di puntini di sospensione.
- Usa meno virgolette possibili: non è “fine”.
- Non generalizzare mai.
- Le parole straniere non fanno affatto bon ton.
- Sii avaro di citazioni. Diceva giustamente Emerson: “Odio le citazioni. Dimmi solo quello che sai tu.”
- I paragoni sono come le frasi fatte.
- Non essere ridondante; non ripetere due volte la stessa cosa; ripetere è superfluo (per ridondanza s’intende la spiegazione inutile di qualcosa che il lettore ha già capito).
- Solo gli stronzi usano parole volgari.
- Sii sempre più o meno specifico.
- L’iperbole è la più straordinaria delle tecniche espressive.
- Non fare frasi di una sola parola. Eliminale.
- Guardati dalle metafore troppo ardite: sono piume sulle scaglie di un serpente.
- Metti, le virgole, al posto giusto.
- Distingui tra la funzione del punto e virgola e quella dei due punti: anche se non è facile.
- Se non trovi l’espressione italiana adatta non ricorrere mai all’espressione dialettale: peso el tacòn del buso.
- Non usare metafore incongruenti anche se ti paiono “cantare”: sono come un cigno che deraglia.
- C’è davvero bisogno di domande retoriche?
- Sii conciso, cerca di condensare i tuoi pensieri nel minor numero di parole possibile, evitando frasi lunghe — o spezzate da incisi che inevitabilmente confondono il lettore poco attento — affinché il tuo discorso non contribuisca a quell’inquinamento dell’informazione che è certamente (specie quando inutilmente farcito di precisazioni inutili, o almeno non indispensabili) una delle tragedie di questo nostro tempo dominato dal potere dei media.
- Gli accenti non debbono essere nè scorretti nè inutili, perchè chi lo fà sbaglia.
- Non si apostrofa un’articolo indeterminativo prima del sostantivo maschile.
- Non essere enfatico! Sii parco con gli esclamativi!
- Neppure i peggiori fans dei barbarismi pluralizzano i termini stranieri.
- Scrivi in modo esatto i nomi stranieri, come Beaudelaire, Roosewelt, Niezsche, e simili.
- Nomina direttamente autori e personaggi di cui parli, senza perifrasi. Così faceva il maggior scrittore lombardo del XIX secolo, l’autore del 5 maggio.
- All’inizio del discorso usa la captatio benevolentiae, per ingraziarti il lettore (ma forse siete così stupidi da non capire neppure quello che vi sto dicendo).
- Cura puntiliosamente l’ortograffia.
- Inutile dirti quanto sono stucchevoli le preterizioni.
- Non andare troppo sovente a capo.
Almeno, non quando non serve.
- Non usare mai il plurale majestatis. Siamo convinti che faccia una pessima impressione.
- Non confondere la causa con l’effetto: saresti in errore e dunque avresti sbagliato.
- Non costruire frasi in cui la conclusione non segua logicamente dalle premesse: se tutti facessero così, allora le premesse conseguirebbero dalle conclusioni.
- Non indulgere ad arcaismi, hapax legomena o altri lessemi inusitati, nonché deep structures rizomatiche che, per quanto ti appaiano come altrettante epifanie della differenza grammatologica e inviti alla deriva decostruttiva – ma peggio ancora sarebbe se risultassero eccepibili allo scrutinio di chi legga con acribia ecdotica – eccedano comunque le competenze cognitive del destinatario.
- Non devi essere prolisso, ma neppure devi dire meno di quello che.
- Una frase compiuta deve avere.
Umberto Eco
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